Teaching Quandary

One of the most difficult parts of teaching is that we are unable to take direct action in certain circumstances. We can be an ear, a shoulder. We can suggest other people with whom to speak. We can direct administration or counselors to help the students, the parents, etc. But legally speaking, there is little we can directly do without risking getting sued for influencing a minor, or worse.

I understand, completely, the reasoning behind that. Our world is no longer a place where you trust until proven wrong. We must now, for our own safety and the safety of loved ones, unfortunately, mis-trust until proven otherwise. It's sad. And perhaps, this thought process shows that I am a rather jaded person.

When I am able to help a child (and it is difficult saying that due to the age at which I am most in contact with my students - they tend to be 16-18, and behave in very adult-like ways most of the time - acceptable or not), it is exceedingly rewarding. Regardless of the aid given - tutoring someone in English, helping a young lady with boy troubles, giving a hug when a pet dies - whatever the reason is, it is wonderful to know that I made an impact on that particular life in that particular moment. And I want them all to know I do it out of love.

But on the other hand...

A student came to me several weeks ago with a quandary. I was meant to merely be an ear. I happily loaned said student my ears and my shoulder.

Today, I returned to my room after a class held in a different wing to see Student waiting outside my room. Student needed ears again.

Original conundrum has grown. Exponentially.

Details do not matter at the moment. What matters is that I really want to directly do something to help this wonderful child. Student is one of the more mature high schoolers I've had the pleasure of working with - thoughtful, funny, smart, logical - future plans in place - genuinely a student from whom I would want updates and visits over the years.

It pains me greatly to see Student in this particular sticky spot. There is nothing I can do. Not without running the risk of losing my job. I shared the situation with Steve when I got home, and while he sympathized with Student and me, he was more concerned my heart would take over and I would do something foolish. I will not do something foolish. But I can't help but think that I was meant to be in Student's life for more than just ears. More than mere hugs. My heart is breaking at this situation.

If my heart is breaking, I cannot possibly fathom what Student is thinking and feeling.

There is no hint of light - no trace of hope. The proverbial rock and hard place are set to squeeze Student. I can only let Student know my ears and shoulders are here. I just wish I could bear some of the brunt of the load Student is now carrying.

Syd's Stitches

Here, Syd was playing with his puppy. The nurses gave him a play doggy that has the same injury as he does. I presume it is to help him understand what happened to him and to have something that looks similar, especially when he was walking around with nothing but gauze and tape on his own forehead.

And this lovely photo shows the 4 stitches he received. It's only been two days (and our first opportunity to bathe his head), but they are already looking better - especially when you consider that it was split to the skull. Thank heavens for a quick response at the hospital! Let's just hope the scarring stays at a minimum.

My First Real Panic

Looking down at myself in the E.R., I saw that I was splotched with blood. I was in my pajamas with tennis shoes haphazardly thrown on - laces untied. One of Daddy's hoodies was thrown on. I was presentable, but by no means in anything I'd want people to see me in. And I was bloody.

Sydney was even worse. He had large patches of blood on his shirt - all down the front, smeared across the shoulders, and dripping on to his pants. He was in socks. I remember telling Daddy not to worry about putting his shoes on, but to grab his cheddar bunnies, water bottle, my wallet, and his yi-yi.

The evening started off much differently. It was Friday - hallelujah! It had been a long week, and SoLs are next week, and I needed a few days to forget about school. Syd was in a delightful mood. Each night, we eat dinner and then we have music time where we dance, play Chase, wrestle, and tickle. Daddy was relaxing on the floor while I had a tickle fight with Syd. He stood up to walk down the hall, tripped over my leg, and had a vicious all-out brawl with the bookshelf.

The bookshelf won.

Instantly, blood started pouring down his face. I grabbed my handkerchief I'd been using and tried to staunch the flow. I knew what was going on, but Daddy didn't, so he understandably was a little panicky as I barked orders to him - Ice! Red rag! Get the liquid bandage!

Syd fought the red rag. It was hanging in his face, he hurt, and he couldn't see. He didn't know what was going on. So, I moved the rag out of his face, told him very calmly he had fallen on to the bookshelf and had an owie, and then started telling him a story about Milo the Elephant, Barnaby the Train, and Sarah the Horse.

No idea where that came from, but he started listening and calmed down. The bleeding slowed, then stopped.

It was disGUSTing. A very clean slice straight through to the skull.

It was a year ago. Almost exactly, as tomorrow is Zane's third birthday. We were getting ready for Zane's birthday party and Mommy was eating a peanut butter sandwich while Daddy was in the shower. I gave Syd a mere pinky-fingernail sized bite of the sandwich. Within seconds, he started scratching his eye. In the next few moments, he started to swell until the first eye was swollen shut and the entire left side of his face was getting puffy.

I had one split second of indecision. Do I yell for Daddy? Do I get a cold-compress? I grabbed the Benedryl and gave him a half teaspoon. Then, I yelled for Daddy and called the doctor. We ended up going to the E.R. for that, too.

Last night, I did not falter. Syd was bleeding profusely and I was the first with him. It is actually rather ironic as Steve and I enjoy the sitcom Whitney. This past week's episode was about couples and who has the fight and who has the flight instinct. The result, after 30 minutes of comedy, is that we each have our strengths and weaknesses, and they balance each other out.

Daddy was panicking. He started driving a little too fast. I reminded him that Syd was ok for now and we needed to get to the hospital safely. We got there, got checked in, triaged, and waited. It was then that I started to shake. Almost uncontrollably.

Thank heavens the Friday night crew was fresh. Yes, it took 4 hours, but the nurse was wonderful, the child life specialist did a fabulous job keeping Syd distracted, taking him for walks in the halls, and even talking to me about how she got her job - news for my seniors... And the doctor was the same we'd seen a year ago. She is unbelievably calm, soothing, straight-forward, but not condescending. If it weren't for the fact that it was 3 hours past Syd's bedtime by the time we left, I think we may have even been a bit jolly.

But the fact of the matter is we were all tired, and Daddy and I were drained. Syd didn't like pulling his shirt off over his head. I had to put him in a button-up today. And his stitches will hopefully not scar. But if nothing else, he already looks so much like his Daddy, we joke (already! I know!) that he couldn't go much longer without getting the matching scar that Daddy got when he was 4. Also from a fall.

What's really crazy is that Syd remembered his last visit because he asked if he could push the bed. The nurses pushed him in the bed to the room where they treated his peanut allergy. I never expected him to recall that at the tender age of 18 months.

Syd took a much needed LONG nap today and is finally eating again. I'm sure things will be fine, but he definitely gave us a scare last night. Let's just make the visits a little more spread out than once a year...

Insights of the Toddler Mind

We finally got snow this year. It decided to all come at once rather than allow us to enjoy it throughout the winter of 2011-2012, but it was beautiful and worth the wait.
The Nichols family pose in front of our next-door neighbor's matching snowmen. We had no part in either the building of nor the tearing down (a.k.a., melting the next day with temps in the 50s), but it was fun to pose!

A very contemplative Syd wandered around in his new boots that are 3 sizes too big. But we didn't think he'd need them until next year! He will hopefully remember this lovely evening, as this is the first time I think he's old enough to do so. He didn't talk much. Just wandered around the two adjoining yards and ours, watching his footprints and the rest of the world erase.

We went immediately from 20 degree weather with the beautiful snowfall to having 70s and a tornado warning by the end of the week. I have no idea what game Mother Nature is playing, but to keep Syd occupied as he recuperated from a cold, we invested in a child's weed eater. He is obsessed with yard maintenance, and has been asking for Daddy to mow and weed eat! So, we figured we'd just get him his own...

Mommy succumbed to the creeping crud at school. It really knocked me on my tail, too. I don't think I've rested this much since before Syd was born. But, with Daddy taking the lead and letting me conk out on the couch, I am on the mend! In the meantime, Syd was brave enough to cuddle with Mommy, as long as we could cuddle Yi-yi (silkie) and Blue Bear at the same time.

Now, for the fun part...

I decided to use up some homemade cookie dough yesterday evening, after I finally felt like maybe eating sometime in my life again.

Syd was fascinated. He would press his cheek against the oven door and gaze at the lumps of dough rise and spread in the soft glow of the oven light.

When I pulled each pan out and laid the cookies on the paper bag to soak up extra grease and cool, he watched me through very somber eyes and asked, repeatedly, when he could have a cookie. He is 2, after all.

Tonight at dinner, I gave him his cup of yogurt and spoon to keep him busy, then turned back to finishing dinner for all of us.

In the midst of turning from microwave to oven to cabinet and back again, I saw him deliberately scoop yogurt out of his cup. I presumed it was for his mouth.

Instead, he dumped the lot onto the little foil lid from his yogurt cup.

"What are you doing, Syd?

"Making cookies."

Little sponges, aren't they?

The Hits Keep Coming

As my previous post explains, I had a renewal of revelation a few weeks ago - family needs to come first. As it stands, it is a solid revelation that has been proved a number of times this year; recently, we had the addition of a heart attack scare.

Aside from family, though, things have been smoothing out. We finally finally FINALLY had a snow day - the first in over a year. My students were delighted to learn that the snow day threw off my plans, so we'll be starting research after the Writing SoL in two weeks, rather than this week. And I, thinking I was catching Syd's cold, am trying to see the silver lining in being laid up with something worse than a cold. But I can only presume I was pushing myself too hard, again, and this is a way to force me to, yet again, take a step back and breathe deeply.

So, rather than leading my first class of the day through a review of their most recent benchmark test and then putting in to practice tips for the writing portion of the Writing SoL, I am laying on my bed, throat swollen so much it is painful to swallow coffee, feverish, headache, and waiting for my doctor appointment this afternoon. I am sorry to miss today - I enjoy my AP seniors a great deal and, though I'm not a fan of Wuthering Heights, I truly enjoy our class discussions on the novel. I can relish the fact that, though they'll probably ignore my sub plans for the majority of the day, I get to tell them on Tuesday that I sat back and watched The Princess Bride while I was laid up. They've been begging me to incorporate that in to the Advanced Placement curriculum - Although I can't justify watching the movie in class, I can certainly enjoy the fact that something I loved when I was a tween/teen is still popular, and it doesn't make me feel quite as old as they usually do!

Cheers, everyone - May you find the effulgent lining in your sick days, too.

A Lot Happening

Much has taken place over the past month. The semester ended and the stress level increased and I had trouble remembering the pledge I made to myself to put family first. The rest would and will all take care of itself. Then, my sister called and asked if we would be interested in helping her celebrate her 40th birthday, and my nephew celebrate his 12th. What a beautiful way to remember that I need to leave school at school, as much as possible, and embrace family.

The weekend before leaving for Columbus, I made chocolate pudding. Syd was helping me whip it up and very surreptitiously snuck a finger-full of the delectable substance. I gasped and made a huge deal out of him sticking his finger in the bowl, which, of course, encouraged him all the more. The joys of childhood come in chocolate smeared faces and giggling over pudding.
My sister has three children, the youngest a few years older than Sydney. But this means I get lots of awesome hand-me-downs! Steve and Syd play in a Bob the Builder collapsible bulldozer that we got to bring home with us! Thanks, Aunt Dawn and Uncle Steve!!


Happy 40th Birthday, Dawn! I am so thankful to have you as a big sis - someone to whom I've looked for guidance whether explicitly or implicitly over the years.

Happy 12th Birthday, Nate! You are growing in to a young man so quickly! What a joy for your Mom to have your birthday so near to celebrate, and what a connection the two of you will always enjoy!

Emily and Syd pose for the camera. Syd is anxiously awaiting the birthday cake!!
(No, she's not that tiny. It is the angle of the photo I snapped, and the fact that she was skidding in to place as the flash went off. Quick little whippersnapper!) Family

And, on a side note, the embracing of family was a dear reminder that we all needed. My brother-in-law made the comment that the only time we seemed to get together as a family in the past 18 months was for a funeral. Life is far too short, and family is far too sweet. Fitting sentiments, too, as Valentine's Day was yesterday. The reminiscing that took place over a glass of wine and birthday cake was as sweet as any Valentine's chocolates I received. Family, to me, is any group of people who are dear to my heart. I have work family, home family, blood family. I just hope anyone who is in my family knows how deeply I care for them.

Ride or Die, Baby. Ride or Die.

Photo taken from Wikipedia

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