Friday, June 17, 2011

Boy Mom

Whenever friends have their first child, and as I awaited my bundle of joy, I hear on a consistent basis things like: "You'd be such a good Boy Mom!" or "I can see you being a Girl Mom!" I was told that I would be good with either.

I would smile, say thank you, glow in prenatal joy, then turn away completely confused. Yes, boys and girls are different, but are they really THAT different? It is only now, after my son has grown some (now 21 months) and is walking, talking, climbing, running, jumping, throwing, etc., and only after I've heard from all my girlfriends who had girls first, that I think I may understand the difference between a Boy Mom and a Girl Mom.

There are always extenuating circumstances regarding stages of development, so it's not only difficult to compare, especially when you don't have a child of the opposite gender, but it's also a touchy subject between parents. No one wants to be the Comparing Mom, but you can't help but wonder sometimes...

Regardless, even without having a girl, I can look at Sydney every once in a while and say "Whoa - that is SUCH a Boy thing to do!" And even more so, whether it's good or bad, I can take a step back at look at myself and think I've really grown as a parent - not because of what I'm good at or my skill in handling situations - that's all still a work in progress and will be for the next...30 years... But because of what I've grown to allow - I used to be very Monk-like - you know, the tv show about the extremely persnickety person who can't have one grain of dust out of order...

Not anymore. For example, yesterday, I was making dinner, balancing on one foot while Sydney swung around the other, trying to play catch with my right leg, that I kept raising up over his head. Once I got the chicken in the oven, we were bouncing balls all over the place in the kitchen while I attempted to get the green beans going. After dinner, while the chicken platter soaked and we waited for Daddy to finish chores downstairs, we discovered that dropping two bouncy balls, one sitting on the other, at the same time, the top ball would bounce twice as high, since the bottom ball was, essentially, the point of impact and was made of rubber. The ball bounced into the chicken dish several times, and each time, I simply washed it off and handed it right back to Syd. I never would have stood for that before becoming a mom - boy or girl.

I don't know if this has anything at all to do with Boy Mom or Girl Mom. I don't have a girl, so I cannot possibly know what I would do differently if I did. All I know is that we play. Hard. Constantly. And I am becoming a better person for not worrying about every crumb, dust bunny, pile of books and balls and trucks in my house. But I am curious about the difference. What do you think? Do you have boys, girls, or both? By all means - share the stories and help shed some light for me and any other confused Mom out there!! In the meantime, bring on the Boys!

1 comment:

  1. I'm proud of you, Dionne! You are a great boy-mom and a great parent. My theory is that, if you're a good parent, you become the Mom your child needs you to be- regardless if it's a boy or girl! Love you!!XOXO