A Few Thoughts

I've been swamped the past week, and the pace is only going to speed up until graduation in June. But in the meantime, here's a few things that have been floating in my mind, and in no particular order...

1. My kid has huge feet. I knew Daddy had wide feet, but thought that was mostly because of his broken ankle when he was a teenager that he walked on for 3 days before seeing the doctor. I knew his grandmother had wide feet, too, but thought that was because she grew up on a farm and didn't wear shoes until absolutely necessary and never in the summer. But it appears that Sydney is going to have large feet, too, and since they are wide, we are unable to obtain the cheaper Target/Walmart/Kmart brands that are more logical, since they grow out of them so quickly.


2. Steve and I have been carefully dolling out our tax refund dollars for things that have been on the 'need' list, either for the family or for the house. Our list is beginning to pare down, but it's been a while since I've felt a bittersweet satisfaction at being responsible, yet wanting to indulge and knowing we shouldn't...


3. My student teacher's time is nearly up. I've enjoyed having her in my class a tremendous amount - we are very similar in personality and teaching style - so much so that our students actually asked if the schools deliberately pair up CTs and STs by personality. That made us laugh a great deal. I love teaching, even if that means teaching the next generation of teachers how to handle the classroom. But I also wonder if she's gotten me spoiled - I've heard horror stories about CT/ST situations that went wrong and hope my next experience doesn't make me rethink the whole situation.


4. Though my STs time is nearly up, she is also a long-term sub at school for another teacher, so she'll still be around. I've gotten accustomed to just walking out to make copies, go to the restroom, make phone calls, etc. - things I never have time to do these days as I bounce between rooms and preps. I told her she is still required to 'audit' my teaching so I can run out when needed!


5. I have Jean Auel's book, The Land of the Painted Caves, sitting on my banister out of Syd reach. I've had the book since the day it was released, and I've only gotten one chapter read. I am torn about this - I so want to delve in to this last segment of the Ayla/Jondalar story, but after one chapter know that I won't be able to focus on the book and teaching at the same time. After one chapter, all I could think about after finishing it was the story, where it's headed, what I may see, and reflecting on what had happened in the past in an attempt to remember the main characters' history. But what I need to do is grade papers, plan for my next units, prepare for SOLs and AP tests. Not to mention mothering... What do I do - suddenly become very ill so I can sit at home and read? Try to do the 'one chapter a night' method that will keep me endlessly attempting to remember where I was in the story or needing to refocus on which paper I was in the midst of grading? Or put the book off until spring break and beg forgiveness from Steve when I ignore him after Syd goes down so I can read it?? Decisions, decisions...


6. Syd went through a growth spurt this weekend - he was up for 3 hours on Friday and I didn't get to sleep until after 2am. And he ate everything in sight on Saturday and today. All of it going to his feet??


7. I still have unsuccessfully eradicated our cacti from the front yard. When we planted it - 5 years ago - we never thought we'd be having a child. And now, after allowing the beauty and wildness to spread nearly unhindered, I am terrified that Syd will trip and fall in to it. I've slowly been removing it, and had planned on doing it during the winter, when the cacti 'dies,' like a deciduous tree. But the weather is warming, and the arms are beginning to stand again, and Syd wants to go outside. I may be pulling a few late nights soon just working my way, ever so carefully, through the spiny pear.


8. I've met my new match in zumba. Lots of fun, but just call me Zoolander.

Lots to do over the next 2 months, and lots to keep me distracted. I look forward to the ever-increasing warm weather, to my freedom at the end of this month (spring break!), and to a summer with Syd. In the meantime, I'm still trying to keep from letting my own thoughts and concerns spill out for all to see, which is a double-edged sword...when I keep it in, I'm scolded for being 'in a bad mood,' and when the levees do break, I'm scolded for pulling a 'woe is me' attitude. I'm human, but I do my best.